Raven's Diary
by oBsEsSiVe AnD hYpEr
Summary: Raven's Diary: The story of Raven's struggles with her emotions and her feelings for Beastboy. Chapter 7, "I'll Meet You There" will have a sex scene! So I am Changing the Rating to "R" Chapter 7 will not be up until monday.
1. I can't believe i said cute

Hi!!! It's me, obsessive, writer of Diana.and many depressing poems. anyways, I'm attempting to write another Fic. umm. iight. errrr. now what to write. hmmmmmmmmm *bangs self on head* RAVEN!!! Come out!!!! I need help!!!! (raven) now you need my help. I don't think I'm gonna help you. not after last time. What do you mean, "not after last time"? I mean, last time you yelled at me and wouldn't let me do anything. Aw, you suck. I'm leaving. Bye now. You're coming too!!! Damn. ....................................  
  
(this is ummm ravens diary. When it's in perentheses, it's an authors note, when it's in stars it's the diary entry, and when its not in anything, It's a remembering thing.)  
  
*Dear diary,  
Starfire gave me this useless book to write my thoughts in. I do not want it, and I do not need it. My thoughts are fine in my head. Yet, despite how stupid I think this diary is, I still use it. Odd. I might as well put my thoughts in it.  
  
Last week, as I was trying to read my book, beast boy came by.*  
  
"Hey raven. What 'cha doing?" "I am reading. What does it look like I'm doing? Knitting a sweater?" Beast boy laughed. Raven shook her head. 'Why am I joking with him?' she thought, 'I think he's an idiot.' Beast boy looked at her happily. "What do you want?" raven said, annoyed. "Ummmm. nothing." then leave me alone."  
  
*He looked so cute when he was looking at me. OH NO!!! I just said beast boy looked cute. IN PEN!!!! Oh no. I am dead if he ever reads this. Any way, Starfire won't leave me alone lately. All she ever can do is talk about robin.*  
  
"Oh raven, robin is so nice, and friendly, and helpful." "starfire" raven said. "Yes my dear friend who is so kind to me?" "Shut up." "Oh, I am sorry raven." There were five minutes of silence. "Oh, but raven, he is so nice and helpful." "I said SHUT UP!!!"  
  
*She's way too into robin for her own good. Besides, I think robin has his eye on a girl in town.but I don't know. He has been sneaking off a lot lately. Usually, when he leaves, he at least tells us where he's going. I don't know what he's doing, and I don't think I can trust him after the "Red X" incident. I'll have to ask him what he's doing.  
  
I think I'll transfer my poems in here, because I think beast boy knows where they are, and I don't want him to read them. although he probably already has. maybe I'll just put new ones in here.  
  
I think there is something wrong with my mirror. (The one from nevermore.) After beast boy and cyborg escaped from it, I did smash it, but I got another one. I need the mirror. It's the reflection of my mind, and my past. But the new one keeps bouncing around. I've never seen it, but I hear it every night. Sometimes, when I leave the room and come back, it appears to have been moved. *  
  
Raven walked into her room. She had herd something moving around in it, only seconds before. She suspected Beast boy and cyborg. Neither one of them were any where to be found in the Tower. When she walked in, the first thing she noticed was that her mirror was missing. 'Oh no!' she thought, 'my mirror can't be missing!' she looked around frantically, and finally found it, in her bathroom. "BEAST BOY! CYBORG!!" she thundered, "GET IN HERE!" robin poked his head in, "um raven," he said, "beast boy and Cyborg aren't here. They went to the video arcade." Ravens hair, which had been flying around her face, settled, and her eyes faded from red to black. "Oh." She said.  
  
*I don't know what's wrong with it, but I hope it's nothing big. I don't want to get stuck in there. I better leave before the other titans expect something, or Cyborg blows up the tower with his cooking.  
  
-Raven* 


	2. fevers, light bulbs, and the tides of ch...

Hey!!! It's me! Any way, I'm amazed. I put the story up this morning, and I already have some reviews. Yay!!!! So, here we go!!! ....................................  
  
*Dear diary,  
I don't have anything to say. At least not any thing that I wish for anyone else to see, but I guess I can put it here, for this diary has a lock. Beast boy is driving me crazy. Not in the traditional sense, though. He is driving my emotions crazy. If I don't get a handle on this, I will end up blowing something-big up.*  
  
"Hey raven," beast boy said, smiling as he sat down next to her. "Oh, hi beast boy." raven said, trying to hide her blushing face behind her book. "You look flushed, are you sick?" beast boy said, trying to reach her forehead, she panicked. Her stomach flipped, and the lights in the tower blew. "AHHHH" beast boy shouted, and fell on top of raven. For one-second raven smiled, then she remembered that she couldn't let anyone find out her secret. She shoved beast boy off her. "Get off me." She growled, as he fell to the floor."  
  
*I don't know what my problem is. I've never even considered him a friend, just an acquaintance, but now I blush in his presence? I have to get a grip. I mean, I am RAVEN! I am not a lovesick little girl. I have controls on my emotions, or at least, I did.  
  
I feel very sorry for cyborg though, he is getting rejected a lot. Whenever he asks a girl out, she takes one look at his metal, and laughs. Then he sulks and makes the rest of us listen to him complain. *  
  
"Hey," cyborg said, to a girl at the pizza place, "hi, I'm cy, how about I get you a soda?" she looked at him. "Ummmm," she said, "uh, I don't think so, metal guy, I only go out with organic guys." she laughed, and left. "Aw man." Cyborg said, putting is head in his hand. "I'm never gonna get a date!" he said, unhappily, "not with the way I look." "Aw, cy, it's OK, you'll find love one day." Beast boy said, idiotically. "It's OK." Robin said, "don't worry."  
  
*Although everyone's supportive of him, it's true, he won't have a "true" love for a very long time. One day, possible, but still, not for a very long time. He needs love to be happy. I just need starfire to shut up about robin. Every second of everyday, "robin this," and "robin that." It's annoying. I wish she would leave me alone. *  
  
"Hey raven?" "Yes starfire?" raven aid, annoyed. "I know why I think robin is nice! I looked up the word!" "What are you talking about?" "I LOVE ROBIN!!!" raven did the sweat drop thing. "You are crazy." She went back to her book. 'What is starfire thinking?' she though, 'oh yea, I forgot, she's a blonde with red hair.' She snickered.  
  
*My life is boring at the moment. There is nothing to do, no crimes to fight nothing to stop. It's very frustrating. I'm tired of sitting around all the time, doing nothing. At least I have time for writing poems. The tides of change, They've come again, Come to change what I know.  
  
The tides of change, Never cease, Always changing what I thought was true.  
  
The tides of change, Bring fear and pain, Bring things that I've forgotten.  
  
The tides of change, Bring him, The one thing I never thought I'd see.  
  
I really ought to go now, or someone will suspect something's up, and come look for me. Raven*  
  
....................................  
  
ok, I'm done. I don't think that poem was very good. Tell me what u think. If u don like the poem, don't complain. If you do, then tell me. L-8-er. 


	3. Diamonds, arguments, and Pizza

Hi guys!!! I have only 5 reviews, and only 4 of them are for my story. ( oh yea, DO NOT PUT REVIEWS FOR DIANA (my other story) HERE!!!! This is not Diana; this is Raven's Diary. Got it? Good. Now 4 da story.  
  
....................................  
  
*Dear diary,  
Today was a moderately interesting day. We actually had something to do. It was a stupid fight, and pretty much pointless, but we still had something to do. It's better that sitting around the tower, and I don't blow up as many light bulbs.  
  
We had to stop this screwed up jewelry robber, who was obsessed with diamonds. She even told us her name was Diamond. It all started when I was reading a book.*  
  
"Titans," robin said, the titans all looked up expectantly, "there's a Jewelry robber on the loose. She's crazy, so be careful." The beast boy looked at cyborg. "o0o, and insane Jewelry robber, I'm so scared." Robin looked at beast boy, annoyed. "Come on, let's go."  
  
When the titans got there, the "insane" jewelry robber was dancing around, knocking out random people. She wore extremely gaudy clothes, black leggings, covered in fake diamonds, a really ugly silver polyester shirt, covered in the jewelry from the gumball machines. She was also draped in the jewels from the store she had just robbed.  
  
She was singing, "diamonds, diamonds, I love the pretty diamonds." And so on. She was climbing the trellis when the titans over got over their shock of seeing someone so crazy. Beast boy, who was trying to heroic (yes, again) jumped up onto the trellis, climbing after her, when she whacked him in the head with a diamond covered purse. She laughed hysterically, and straitened her diamond-covered tiara. "Aw, de wittle tween twitans will never catch Diamond!!!" she laughed again, and danced around on the roof. Raven was annoyed. This stupid happy person was saying that the Titans couldn't defeat her. 'Yea, right.' Raven thought, as she very quietly flew up to the roof, behind Diamond. She caught Robin's eye and mouthed, "get a net ready."  
  
She snuck be hind Diamond and pulled a chain off her neck. "Are these real?" she asked, snickering, as she watched Diamonds face turn purple. "Hey!!" she said, "give that back!!!" raven's eyes twinkled with delight, only for a second though, and said, "how about no. I think you should get it yourself," and tossed the necklace off the roof. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" shrieked Diamond, and leapt off the roof, right into robin's net. When she landed, she sat up, tangled up in the net, her hair askew, and shrieked "stupid Teen titans!!!"  
  
*It was the most pointless fight I had ever fought in, in fact, it wasn't even a fight. It was shoving someone off the roof, which was fun. but after that we went to get pizza. Once again, everyone was arguing over what pizza to get. *  
  
"PEPPERONIE!!!!!! I WANT MEAT!!!" "DUDE!! I'm a vegetarian, I can't eat meat!" beast boy said, annoyed. "Then change your vegetarian ways." "Dude I-" Raven looked up from the menu, "Cyborg, it is a pointless argument, as beast boy always says," she made a dumb face, "dude, I've been most of those animals." Everyone except Beast boy laughed. "hey!" beast boy said, annoyed, "your mean." He pouted and turned away. "baby," she muttered. Beast boy whirled around, "WHAT!?!" he shouted, "oh.. Nothing..." she said, snickering.  
  
*I was being way funnier than I normally am. I hope no one expects something's up. I---- sorry, robin called me. It's "meeting" time.  
  
-Raven 


	4. Angst, Sorrow, Rage, and Fear

Whoohoo! Here we go! Here we go! OH YEA!!!!! Kk then... letz go now dudez and dudettez!!! I AM HYPER ACTIVE!!! o0o!!! Laaaa laaaaaaaaa laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa o0o0o0o0o0o0k I'll shut up now. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
*Dear diary,  
There definitely is a problem w/ my mirror. I saw my rage, sorrow, and angst trying to escape. If they do escape, this world will change as we know it. If they get loose, then there will be a "Pandora's Box" issue. (Author's note: if you don't know what Pandora's Box is, that read some Greek mythology!!!) So, I decided to go in, and find out what was happening, once and for all. *  
  
"Go back, go back." The little two-eyed raven's called, "go back, go back!" raven ignored them, and walked slowly through her mind. "HI!" the cheerful pink raven called. Raven ignored her. The pink Raven shrugged. "HEY!" the brave raven shouted, raven ignored her. Raven was looking for 3 versions of herself, and couldn't waste time chatting with the others. She turned a corner, and doubled back, turning it again. Most would think this useless, but if any one knows her mind, Raven does. When she rounded the corner, she gasped. There were Sorrow, Angst, and Rage, and they had concocted a swirling vortex of madness, in her mind.  
  
*I found out that Angst, Sorrow, and Rage, along with the help of fear, had concocted a swirling Blackhole of sheer insanity in my mind. I had to do something, so I threw myself inside, and amazingly enough, it stopped. The side effect was, it caused me to go back 5 hours in time. I'm fine now though. Dizzy for awhile, but fine, none the less.  
  
The worst thing possible has happened to me. I tried to discourage my self, but no, it hasn't worked. The thing is, I've fallen 4 beast boy. oh no. I cannot let any one see this!! I better find a hiding place.  
  
I hear the waves, Calling to me, And I wish to go, Wish to be free.  
  
But I am tangled, Locked in these chains, Forever stuck, For so many rains.  
  
I would go to him, My soul would rejoice, But it must be kept a secret, Uttered by no voice. * ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Well, that's it!!! Read and review, wait, you've already read.. REVIEW!!! 


	5. challanges, true joy, and eternal hapine...

Hi guys!!!! I got some kewl reviews!!! I just want to say that I can't not make raven blow stuff up when she gets emotional, that's the way she is!! Lol. Any way, I am bored. sorry the other chapter wasn't very good. I was out of ideas, and I wasn't to write. Bad combo. Lol. Any ways, this chapter is a bit different than the others!!! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
VERY IMPORTANT!!! MAKE SURE YOU READ: this particular chapter is Beast boy, not Raven, I repeat this chapter is BEAST BOY not raven. OK, here we go!  
  
Beast boy was tired, bored, and miserable. Well, actually, he was more confused than miserable, but beast boy never liked to be confused, no matter how small his brain is. Everybody in the tower had something to complain about. Cyborg was unhappy about the latest girl, Robin was tired of searching for Slade, with no results. Starfire was tired of Robin moping around, and was upset, because he kept yelling at her. Raven was. well. Raven wasn't complaining, but she was tired of blowing up lightbulbs, and other small electrical items. Beast boy sat on the couch, flipping through channels. He sighed. Nothing was on TV, and, amazingly enough didn't feel like playing video games, but that may have been because Cyborg didn't feel like playing.  
  
He was staring blankly off onto space, when Raven sat down next to him. She looked over at beast boy, who was starting to drool. 'Ew,' she thought, 'how can I like him?' she snapped her fingers in front of Beast boy's face. "What? Huh? What's going on? The shadow's got- oh, hi Raven!" "You were drooling." She said dully, and opened her book. "what'cha readin?" beast boy asked, cheerfully. "A horror story, nothing you'd be interested in." "Oh." Beast boy sat back for a while. "Hey raven?" he asked, suddenly. "What," she said, her eyes still glued to her book. "How about we go to a movie, and leave the complainers," he indicated towards cyborg, who was mumbling about organs, and flesh, and banana peels. Raven looked up, surprised, beast boy made a small noise, ::meep:: 'I can't believe I asked that!!!' he thought, 'I can't believe that popped out of my mouth! She will never speak to me again, I'll be labeled a freak, I'll have to live with the circu-' "sure," raven said, "I'll go, as long as you let me choose the movie." She narrowed her eyes at him, challenging him to chicken out. 'Whew!' beast boy thought, 'we're going as friends.' "You're ON!" he shouted joyfully.  
  
Beast boy shuddered, 'I never should have agreed to this,' he thought. 'Way too scary. I'm bound to do something stupid!!!' and old lady stared at raven and him. "Children these days," she muttered. Beast boy stuck his tongue at her. Raven had chosen the movie "Freddy vs. Jason" "it's a dumb movie, with a useless plot." She said, "but it's sure to scare you to death." "Well, ummmmm NEXT TIME I CHOOSE!" "Fine," she said.  
  
They had bought their popcorn, and gotten their seats, and pinned a few people against the wall. "No one calls me a gothic freak." Raven muttered, as they sat down. After what seemed like a million commercials, the movie started. They watched the movie, raven annoyed by the stupid, beast boy, cringing. Raven looked over at beast boy, during an extremely horrifying part. Beast boy had covered his eyes and was cowering in fear. (Authors note: I never saw this movie, but it was the only one I could think of.) Raven poked beast boy, who, seeing that Raven was watching him, put on a brave face, and acted like nothing had happened.  
  
Finally, the movie was over. "That was dumb, and not scary." Raven said. Beast boy shuddered slightly, "yea, not scary, not scary at all." Raven let him walk ahead. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" she shrieked, "Freddy's got me!!!!!!!!!!" "ARGGGGGGGGG!" beast boy shouted, and came running to her rescue. He skidded to a stop. HEY! He said, mock angrily. Then, raven did something she never EVER did. She laughed. And it was a real laugh, not a snicker, but a real, heart-warming laugh, and that lifted Beast boy halfway to heaven, in a silver bubble. (Authors note: yeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaa o0o0o0o0o0k.. bubble..) They walked home together, laughing once in awhile, out of character for normally sullen raven, and then, beast boy did something out of character for him too. He reached out his hand, and clasped Raven's. Raven did not pull away, or any thing he thought she would, just left her hand in his.  
  
*Dear diary,  
Something wonderful happened last night. I experienced true joy, and I'll never forget it.  
  
The waves of joy have released my chains, And I run into the sea, I think to my self, 'This is the way it should always be.'  
  
-Raven 


	6. And thou sayeth Farewell

I want to tell all of you that that was the end of "Raven's Diary", and that I'm not going to do anymore of "Ask the Teen Titans and Diana" unless I get a whole lot of reviews begging me to continue either story. So, basically, unless you really, REALLY want more of "Raven's Diary" it's completed. Right now I'm working on "No Matter where you go, I will find you" and soon I'm going to be working on a story with my friend Kat4life (Caitlin) Sorry, if you were expecting more, but I'm done. I will be, however, posting a story called "Ce La Vi" (That's life) with all the different titan's point of view, but it won't be cheerful. Oh, and it'll be short, and only have 5 short chapters, none of them having anything to do with each other. So, enjoy the other stories, and if you ever want to contact me, to discuss Teen Titans, story ideas, or your just plain bored, E-mail me @ Starsweeper9013@cs.com I'll always respond.  
  
Later Dudes,  
  
Amy 


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